Most of us are familiar with Pavlov conditioning experiments. Pair a bell with food enough times, a dog starts salivating at the ring of the bell even without the food present because it now associated with the food they desire. But what happens in abusive and toxic relationships is a far more insidious and malicious type of conditioning what I like to call conditioning conditioning which pairs what are meant to be innocuous or even celebratory sources of personhood with punishment, shame, humiliation, and degradation.
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